It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just threw up on my dentist
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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