their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
