I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
