Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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