he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
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Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
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Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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