I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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