butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
