She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
