youre lurking in front of me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
