I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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