"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
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she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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