Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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