belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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