if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
