My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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