I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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