do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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