i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Randomize