I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
