My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
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I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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