We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
