babies were throwing up all over the place
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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