He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
