Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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