those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
