Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize