you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
