haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
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He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
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And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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