We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize