Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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