i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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