well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
