i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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