Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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