Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
