Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
