yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
