I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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