No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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