What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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