You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
