What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
