Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
