I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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