My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
