if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
