Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We are two peas in an std pod
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
