i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My ass is underappreciated
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize