Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
