Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
PANTIES FOUND
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
