the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
