dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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