Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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