My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
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Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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