He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
